All Those Painful Lessons
by vanillaXtwilight
Summary: The missing Jackson and April scene from 9x17-"Transplant Wasteland". Drabble.


The door to the scrub room opens up just as an overflow of nurses and technicians file their way out. A few of them smile in my direction and I nod in acknowledgement as I try my best to maneuver my way through the crowd.

"Nice work, Dr. Kepner." I hear one of the scrub nurses call over her shoulder. From over the tops of their heads I can just make out April shooting her a tight lipped smile. When she believes the area is cleared she turns her attention back to the sink, filling the small room with only the sound of running water and the harsh lathering of her hands.

"Hey." I call out as a means of cutting through the tension. She jumps ever so slightly at the sound of my voice but keeps her eyes focused on the cleansing of her hands. She bows her head, resting her chin against her chest, and sighs before reaching over to turn off the sink.

"Hey." She answers softly, plucking a rag from the top of the neatly folded stack and begins drying her hands.

"I just wanted to check to make sure you were all finished up in here. Karev's getting antsy out there." I say with a half-smile, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Oh, is he?" April snaps sarcastically as she whips the towel in to the bin. "Well, that's too damn bad. He's just gonna have to wait a little bit longer." She declares turning back to the sink and tightening her grip around the edge of the sink.

As she sets her jaw, I can visibly see her knuckles turning white against the contrasting metal. She lets out a deep, shaky breath through her nose and hastily wipes away what I can only assume as a tear. "I had to pry his mother off of him." She scoffs bitterly, sounding disgusted with herself.

"What?" I question, taking a step forward and having to physically refrain myself from reaching out and touching her shoulder. A year ago I could've done so, no problem. But a year ago I was just Jackson the best friend. Now, I was only Jackson the sometimes-friend. Combine that with Jackson the boss and Jackson the ex-boyfriend and the lines where acceptable comforting levels lie were sketchy at best.

"Brad." Say replies wetly. "When his heart stopped, all that his mother wanted to do was hold her son one last time and I couldn't even let her do that. I couldn't allow her to mourn the way she wanted to because I had to…I had to…" The words get stuck in her throat, instead coming out as single cry of agony.

She slaps her hand over her mouth as though she is trying to shove a cap over all of her emotions. It isn't until I no longer can fight the urge to comfort her and finally place a hand on her shoulder that she loses it. As I gently pull her to my chest I can feel how violently her shoulders shake with every broken sob.

I reach out and stroke my fingers through her hair calmingly with one hand while the other rests on the small of her back. I soothingly shush her as she buries herself deeper into the crook of my neck, crying in to the dark blue material of my scrub top.

Eventually I feel her starting to relax under my touch. Her shoulders stop shaking and her cries are just strung together sniffles when she finally pulls away from my chest. I still keep her at arms' length, resting my hands on her shoulders.

Her face is red and she looks embarrassed as she wipes first at her eyes and then underneath her nose. "I'm gonna be alright." She declares out loud, chancing a single glance up from the tops of her tennis shoes where her eyes were previously trained.

"I know." I counter confidently. I tilt her chin up softly, her eyes puzzled as they meet mine. "You're a soldier, Kepner. Remember that."

I squeeze her shoulder one last time before turning around to leave when I hear her voice meekly calling me back.

"Jackson?" She asks. When I turn around my eyebrows are raised in both surprise and in curiosity. "You are too."

She doesn't say anything else, but she doesn't need to. I know what she means and to know I have her support in all of this makes it just a little easier to breathe. The corner of my mouth tilts upwards and I nod appreciatively.

"See ya tomorrow, boss." She shouts after me just before the automatic door closes behind me causing me to laugh. Yeah. I was never going to get used to that.

_A/N: I know this is short but this has been rolling around in my head since the other night and I wanted to get it out there. For a promo with a lot of Japril there was a serious lack of Japril, am I right? Don't get me wrong, I loved the April storyline because I love seeing her being a kick-ass doctor but I just wish there had been a scene like this. I read somewhere that Brad was from Mercy West? I don't remember them saying that but if he was then that makes it even more upsetting that there wasn't some kind of interaction between Japril since they're the remained Mercy Westers. Oh, well. If anyone has seen the promo pics for 9x19, it looks like it's going to be a great episode for them and I, for one, can't wait!_

_As always...**review**! Thanks! :)_


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